Newsroom calls transcribed from the News Shopper 29 December 2010:
Elderly lady: I would like you to write a story about the funny-shaped clouds in the sky today. Have a look out of the window, they are really straight.
NewsShopper: I am looking at them and they look like normal clouds to me.
EL: No, they are not. They are straight and lots of other strange things have been happening since they appeared.
NS: Oh really? Like what?
EL: Well, my knees have been hurting and my cat has been walking funny. Please write a story about it.
Old woman: I want my Dunkirk memories in the newspaper, like that man.
NewsShopper: Oh, do you mean the article I did on the 70th anniversary of Dunkirk?
OW: Yes. Why didn't you put my memories in?
NS: Well, I didn't know you...this is the first time you've contacted me.
OW: I want my memories in the newspaper.
NS: I know, but it's too late now as I've already written the article and it's been published.
OW: Well, just add my memories at the bottom of the article.
NS: But it's already been published.
OW: I want my memories in the newspaper.
NS: There's nothing I can do. I can't really call the paper back just to add it in, or staple a piece about you to the bottom of the page, can I?
OW: Yes, do that.
NS: I can't do that.
OW: I want my memories in the newspaper.
NS: I know, but I'm afraid it's...
OW: I can't be bothered with this. I'm very old. (Hangs up)
Club owner: I am opening a new nightclub and we are getting some mega-famous celebrities from EastEnders in over the next few weeks. Can you give me a bit of publicity in the news section?
NewsShopper: Well, I'm sorry but we don't usually put private business stories in the news section unless it is someone particularly famous.
CO: What, and EastEnders' stars aren't famous enough?
NS: No, not really, but you could put something in our business section?
CO: To be honest mate, you ain't gonna get much more famous than Dean Gaffney. (Hangs up)
Thursday 30 December 2010
Wednesday 22 December 2010
Such a good idea!
I was in the off-licence the other day, stocking up on wine and chocolate. By the till was a Christmas-wrapped box for tips.
I've never tipped the offy staff before, but it was labelled 'Bigger tippers make better lovers'.
So did I leave a tip this time? You betcha!
I've never tipped the offy staff before, but it was labelled 'Bigger tippers make better lovers'.
So did I leave a tip this time? You betcha!
Friday 17 December 2010
When common sense fails
A. Wash your hands!
This silly product is a solution without a problem.
Wednesday 15 December 2010
Here we go again!
Gold Blend revisits the relationship theme of its classic ads from the '80s. In keeping with the times, they've sexed it up a bit.
Although, in my view, it's not a patch on the original series.
Although, in my view, it's not a patch on the original series.
Monday 13 December 2010
The true meaning of Christmas
The clue is in the word CHRISTmas.
I was in a local toy shop recently when someone asked for an advent calendar featuring the nativity. There were advent calendars with Thomas the Tank Engine, Bob the Builder and fluffy puppy dogs. But the shop-keeper said: "Sorry, we haven't got any with nativity scenes."
Similarly, there has been much in the press about the wide choice of supermarket 'Winter Wishes' cards and few with religious themes.
At least Argos have made an effort:
I've 'done my part' too, with my Twitter nativity guest blog post.
I was in a local toy shop recently when someone asked for an advent calendar featuring the nativity. There were advent calendars with Thomas the Tank Engine, Bob the Builder and fluffy puppy dogs. But the shop-keeper said: "Sorry, we haven't got any with nativity scenes."
Similarly, there has been much in the press about the wide choice of supermarket 'Winter Wishes' cards and few with religious themes.
At least Argos have made an effort:
I've 'done my part' too, with my Twitter nativity guest blog post.
Thursday 9 December 2010
2 reasons why people go to the Internet
I've written before that there are only two reasons why people go to the Internet. They are looking for information or entertainment (or a bit of both, as provided in this blog). So I was interested to re-read this passage in the book Illusions, by Richard Bach:
[Richard and Don, the reluctant messiah, have gone to the cinema to see Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid in answer to Richard's question 'Why are we here?']
"...any people anywhere who go to any movie show, why are they there, when it is only illlusions?"
"Well, it's entertainment," I said.
"Fun. That's right. One."
"Could be educational."
"Good, it's always that. Learning. Two."
"Fantasy, escape."
"That's fun too. One."
"Technical reasons. To see how a film is made."
"Learning. Two."
"Escape from boredom..."
"Escape. You said that."
"Social. To be with friends," I said.
"Reason for going, but not for seeing the film. That's fun, anyway. One."
Whatever I came up with fit his two fingers; people see films for fun or learning or for both together.
Like cinema, people don't go to the Internet to be sold to (which is a challenge for those of us who do Internet marketing – we have to be so much more creative about the way we do it).
[Richard and Don, the reluctant messiah, have gone to the cinema to see Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid in answer to Richard's question 'Why are we here?']
"...any people anywhere who go to any movie show, why are they there, when it is only illlusions?"
"Well, it's entertainment," I said.
"Fun. That's right. One."
"Could be educational."
"Good, it's always that. Learning. Two."
"Fantasy, escape."
"That's fun too. One."
"Technical reasons. To see how a film is made."
"Learning. Two."
"Escape from boredom..."
"Escape. You said that."
"Social. To be with friends," I said.
"Reason for going, but not for seeing the film. That's fun, anyway. One."
Whatever I came up with fit his two fingers; people see films for fun or learning or for both together.
Like cinema, people don't go to the Internet to be sold to (which is a challenge for those of us who do Internet marketing – we have to be so much more creative about the way we do it).
Wednesday 8 December 2010
Why oh why oh why
I couldn't help noticing the new Smirnoff vodka ad. I reproduce the script here, with their words in bold.
Triple distilled
Why?
For a purer vodka
Why?
Because we believe that a purer vodka is a better vodka
Let's unpick the script a bit more.
Why?
Because the word 'because' leads on to give you a reason to buy (giving a reason prompts customers to take action, so the word 'because' is extremely powerful!)
Because 'we believe' are weasel words. Who cares what they believe? I believe they are trying to sell something to us! It still sounds convincing though.
Because 'purer' and 'better' are also meaningless, but persuasive, words. Purer than what? Better than what?
This short script is a masterclass in copywriting.
Smirnoff – go to the top of the class!
Triple distilled
Why?
For a purer vodka
Why?
Because we believe that a purer vodka is a better vodka
Let's unpick the script a bit more.
Why?
Because the word 'because' leads on to give you a reason to buy (giving a reason prompts customers to take action, so the word 'because' is extremely powerful!)
Because 'we believe' are weasel words. Who cares what they believe? I believe they are trying to sell something to us! It still sounds convincing though.
Because 'purer' and 'better' are also meaningless, but persuasive, words. Purer than what? Better than what?
This short script is a masterclass in copywriting.
Smirnoff – go to the top of the class!
Tuesday 7 December 2010
On the subject of cameras
(see the 'Load. Take aim. And shoot' post below)...
...the 'I am Nikon' ad series features a sequence of captions e.g. "I am Don Juan", "I am brave," "I am alive", "I am a pocket zoomer".
It took me back to when I was 10 years' old and wrote a poem called "I am a camera"*:
I see a squirrel on the roof
I see a fat lady very aloof
I see a shop
I see a pond
I see a girl with a fairy's wand
I see a boy at a sweet stall
I see some children playing ball
I see some sums being done in a book
All this I see with one long look
And now, I am signing off, and feeling slightly embarrassed.
*Yes, I am that sad person who has kept a poem I wrote when I was 10!
...the 'I am Nikon' ad series features a sequence of captions e.g. "I am Don Juan", "I am brave," "I am alive", "I am a pocket zoomer".
It took me back to when I was 10 years' old and wrote a poem called "I am a camera"*:
I see a squirrel on the roof
I see a fat lady very aloof
I see a shop
I see a pond
I see a girl with a fairy's wand
I see a boy at a sweet stall
I see some children playing ball
I see some sums being done in a book
All this I see with one long look
And now, I am signing off, and feeling slightly embarrassed.
*Yes, I am that sad person who has kept a poem I wrote when I was 10!
Monday 6 December 2010
Cartoon experiences
On a weekend when Facebook users were urged to replace their profile photo with a children's cartoon avatar in support of the NSPCC*, I was reminded of a cartoonish experience of my own.
My friend has one of those. When we walked the dog down the High Street late one night, groups of drunken teenagers at bus-stops leapt out of the way shouting 'WTF is that?!', as if they were seeing a skinny, hairy horse.
So funny.
Friday 3 December 2010
Load. Take aim. And shoot!
Just realised why Canon chose that name for their cameras. Der.
Their latest ad features the following slogan:
"Take more than pictures. Take stories."
It really works for me – in NLP* terms, people have a preference for Visual, Auditory or Kinaesthetic sensory inputs. That is to say, they like pictures, words or feelings. By combining a visual word 'Pictures' with an auditory word 'Stories', the slogan appeals to a wider audience.
Canon are also running a competition in association with The Guardian.
On the subject of competitions, I'm running one for December only, for subscribers to my newsletter only, to write a free slogan (usually £60+) when you send me your name, logo and USP. Sign up here.
P.S. If you're interested in NLP and how it relates to advertising, you might also like this post I wrote about Tone of Voice.
* Neuro-Linguistic Programming
Their latest ad features the following slogan:
"Take more than pictures. Take stories."
It really works for me – in NLP* terms, people have a preference for Visual, Auditory or Kinaesthetic sensory inputs. That is to say, they like pictures, words or feelings. By combining a visual word 'Pictures' with an auditory word 'Stories', the slogan appeals to a wider audience.
Canon are also running a competition in association with The Guardian.
On the subject of competitions, I'm running one for December only, for subscribers to my newsletter only, to write a free slogan (usually £60+) when you send me your name, logo and USP. Sign up here.
P.S. If you're interested in NLP and how it relates to advertising, you might also like this post I wrote about Tone of Voice.
* Neuro-Linguistic Programming
Thursday 2 December 2010
Lesson from the Master
Extracts from a manual written by David Ogilvy for AGA's 1935 advertising campaign, that still hold true today (mostly):
There are certain universal rules. Dress quietly and shave well. Do not wear a bowler hat. Go to the back door (most salesmen go to the front door, a manoeuvre always resented by maid and mistress alike)... Tell the person who opens the door frankly and briefly what you have come for. It will get her on your side. Never on any account get in on false pretences.
In general, study the methods of your competitors and do the exact opposite.
Find out all you can about your prospects before you call on them... Every hour spent in this kind of research will help you and impress your prospect.
The worst fault a salesman can commit is to be a bore... and if you can make her laugh you are several points up.
Perhaps the most important thing of all is to avoid standardisation in your sales talk. If you find yourself one fine day saying the same things to a bishop and a trapezist, you are done for.
The more prospects you talk to, the more sales you expose yourself to, the more orders you will get. But never mistake a quantity of calls for quality of salesmanship.
The good salesman combines the tenacity of a bulldog with the manners of a spaniel. If you have any charm, ooze it.
There are certain universal rules. Dress quietly and shave well. Do not wear a bowler hat. Go to the back door (most salesmen go to the front door, a manoeuvre always resented by maid and mistress alike)... Tell the person who opens the door frankly and briefly what you have come for. It will get her on your side. Never on any account get in on false pretences.
In general, study the methods of your competitors and do the exact opposite.
Find out all you can about your prospects before you call on them... Every hour spent in this kind of research will help you and impress your prospect.
The worst fault a salesman can commit is to be a bore... and if you can make her laugh you are several points up.
Perhaps the most important thing of all is to avoid standardisation in your sales talk. If you find yourself one fine day saying the same things to a bishop and a trapezist, you are done for.
The more prospects you talk to, the more sales you expose yourself to, the more orders you will get. But never mistake a quantity of calls for quality of salesmanship.
The good salesman combines the tenacity of a bulldog with the manners of a spaniel. If you have any charm, ooze it.
Tuesday 30 November 2010
Snow joke
On a day when the first snowfall of the season is gently settling outside my window, I bring you the 'Bad morning' ad:
Monday 29 November 2010
Sunday 28 November 2010
The power of slogans
When Rafa Nadal and Novak Djokovic played at the O2 this week, there was a pause while Novak had a contact lens attended to on court. Some wag in the crowd shouted: "Should've gone to Specsavers"! Five words that have worked very well for them.
Eight words that should work very well for Terry's Chocolate Orange: "Smash it to pieces. Love it to bits."
And three little words that work very well for me: "Writing Without Waffle".
More on the power of slogans in my guest blog post earlier this month.
Eight words that should work very well for Terry's Chocolate Orange: "Smash it to pieces. Love it to bits."
And three little words that work very well for me: "Writing Without Waffle".
More on the power of slogans in my guest blog post earlier this month.
Friday 26 November 2010
You and whose army?
I met my army last night. Oh yes, I have my own army you know (so late-paying clients had better watch out)!
As evidence, here's the start of an email I received recently:
"Please find attached an invitation to an evening reception at Napier House TA Centre, with Major General W G Cubitt CBE, who commands the Army in London...As an influential figure within your community and a key opinion-former, we would welcome the opportunity to meet you and to update you on your Army."
I thought it was a spoof when I saw they consider me an 'influential figure' and 'key opinion-former'! But it turns out that, yes indeed, there is an Army Presentation Team that tours the country to promote awareness and understanding of the British Army with 'the good and the great' British public.
It seems they feel their successes are somewhat ignored in the media, who prefer to focus on bad news. So they aim to cascade more positive messages throughout the civilian community, particularly those with no connection to the armed forces (that counts me in, then).
I'm not sure why their PR machine is not doing a better job with the media, but I certainly know a bit more about the Army than I did before. For instance, they give up a lot of their freedoms so that we can enjoy ours.
British Army, I salute you!
As evidence, here's the start of an email I received recently:
"Please find attached an invitation to an evening reception at Napier House TA Centre, with Major General W G Cubitt CBE, who commands the Army in London...As an influential figure within your community and a key opinion-former, we would welcome the opportunity to meet you and to update you on your Army."
I thought it was a spoof when I saw they consider me an 'influential figure' and 'key opinion-former'! But it turns out that, yes indeed, there is an Army Presentation Team that tours the country to promote awareness and understanding of the British Army with 'the good and the great' British public.
It seems they feel their successes are somewhat ignored in the media, who prefer to focus on bad news. So they aim to cascade more positive messages throughout the civilian community, particularly those with no connection to the armed forces (that counts me in, then).
I'm not sure why their PR machine is not doing a better job with the media, but I certainly know a bit more about the Army than I did before. For instance, they give up a lot of their freedoms so that we can enjoy ours.
British Army, I salute you!
Wednesday 17 November 2010
I'm not a fan of long copy
(as you know, my strapline is 'writing without waffle') but there's an exception to every rule, such as these fabulous entries to the CBS Outdoor 48-sheet long-copy competition.
Click to enlarge each image. Then you can enjoy each and every word.
Click to enlarge each image. Then you can enjoy each and every word.
Monday 15 November 2010
Return of the Star Wars
I love the bit in Curry's latest ad when the camera flashes and R2D2 falls over, and then later when C3PO says: "Of course it was your fault."
It is also a great excuse to show the plot as narrated by a clueless girl:
And the Eddie Izzard Death Star canteen (warning – contains F words):
It is also a great excuse to show the plot as narrated by a clueless girl:
And the Eddie Izzard Death Star canteen (warning – contains F words):
Sunday 7 November 2010
Alas, poor Croydon
I know it well, and it doesn't deserve this:
The scrolling LED sign inside the train read: "The next station is East Croydon. Safety information is provided on posters in every carriage."
The scrolling LED sign inside the train read: "The next station is East Croydon. Safety information is provided on posters in every carriage."
Saturday 6 November 2010
Bring back British Rail!
I arrived early at East Croydon station. Standing on the platform, I experienced the unique frustration of watching train after train arrive, then depart for my desired destination (Brighton).
The reason I couldn't get on board any of them?
Not because I was on the wrong platform. Oh no, I was within inches of the open doors.
Not because they were too crowded. Oh no, there were plenty of available seats.
Not because I didn't have a ticket. Oh no, I'd bought it online the night before and collected it from the so-called 'quick' ticket machine at the station.
The reason was that they were all Southern trains, and my ticket only allowed me to travel on trains run by First Capital Connect.
When you order the ticket, the small print advises you can only travel on FCC trains. There is no obvious signage when you pick up the ticket, not on the platform, nor on the train.
The reason I couldn't get on board any of them?
Not because I was on the wrong platform. Oh no, I was within inches of the open doors.
Not because they were too crowded. Oh no, there were plenty of available seats.
Not because I didn't have a ticket. Oh no, I'd bought it online the night before and collected it from the so-called 'quick' ticket machine at the station.
The reason was that they were all Southern trains, and my ticket only allowed me to travel on trains run by First Capital Connect.
Yes, there are two different train services that run between East Croydon and Brighton, and you have to buy a different ticket depending on which train you use.
I wonder how many non-English speakers and visitors to our fair land get caught out by this ridiculous situation?
Friday 5 November 2010
How to do a 'how to'
Top marks to Polycell for their 'we'll show you how' campaign using YouTube for product demonstrations e.g.
Video is the newest way to market yourself. Even I'm doing it!
Video is the newest way to market yourself. Even I'm doing it!
Tuesday 2 November 2010
Grrr!
Remember the delicious Skoda 'cake' ad? The new Fabia ad has a leaner, greener, meaner twist. And the soundtrack is my new favourite thing!
Monday 1 November 2010
Talking of Marmite...
I just noticed the jar says: "I like a good squeeze" (don't we all, dear!).
Of course, Innocent Drinks' packaging is famously entertaining e.g. 'Open other end' embossed underneath the bottles.
It made me think that perhaps Ketchup is missing a trick. The label should read: "Bash my bottom" (ooer, missus).
Of course, Innocent Drinks' packaging is famously entertaining e.g. 'Open other end' embossed underneath the bottles.
It made me think that perhaps Ketchup is missing a trick. The label should read: "Bash my bottom" (ooer, missus).
Sunday 31 October 2010
Sinister goings-on at Sainsbury's
Not only does the Terrible Talking Till know when I'm using bags from another supermarket (it keeps announcing 'Unrecognised item in the bagging area') but it also also knows what products I buy and prints out coupons accordingly. Yesterday, it offered me Marmite-flavoured crisps. It wouldn't dare do that if I were a Bovril girl.
It's like the time I was in the USA and got money out of an ATM (they don't call them 'holes-in-the-wall over there, and think it's rather funny that we do!). The screen read, more or less, "Here's your money, Ms Barrie. We hope you enjoy your time in our fair country. Now don't go spending it all at once. Tutty-bye!"
I suppose I shouldn't be surprised in this social media age, when everyone has access to information about everybody over the Internet.
But I do find it all somewhat disconcerting.
It's like the time I was in the USA and got money out of an ATM (they don't call them 'holes-in-the-wall over there, and think it's rather funny that we do!). The screen read, more or less, "Here's your money, Ms Barrie. We hope you enjoy your time in our fair country. Now don't go spending it all at once. Tutty-bye!"
I suppose I shouldn't be surprised in this social media age, when everyone has access to information about everybody over the Internet.
But I do find it all somewhat disconcerting.
Saturday 30 October 2010
Wednesday 27 October 2010
Marketing is like unselfish sex
Dear Clients,
Your customers don't care about "your passion". They only care what YOU can do for THEM.
Thanks in advance.
Me x
P.S. While you're at it, please don't ask me to include your mission statement either, as refusal may offend.
Monday 25 October 2010
Every little helps? I agree.
I heartily approve of the Tesco Mobile 'no big ideas' ad, below. Instead of sponsoring racing cars, sporting events or major teams, they give back to their customers in the form of triple Clubcard points.
On the other hand, Nationwide Building Society sponsors the football. I wish they wouldn't. I'd rather they reduced the cost of borrowing or paid more interest.
Which would you prefer?
On the other hand, Nationwide Building Society sponsors the football. I wish they wouldn't. I'd rather they reduced the cost of borrowing or paid more interest.
Which would you prefer?
No Big Ideas - Just ..Sunday 24 October 2010
G'night, Jim-Bob, g'night, Mary-Ellen
You have to be a certain age to remember the Waltons, with its closing 'g'night' scene. For all those who missed it the first time round, EDF Energy have brought it back to life (i.e. recycled it) with their new Eco Manager ad:
G'night, Gran'ma.
G'night, Gran'ma.
Thursday 21 October 2010
Antici........pation!
As soon as I saw the opening image of this new Cadbury's ad, I knew we were in for a treat! And so it came to pass. If I gave out 'ad of the week' awards, they'd win it.
Wednesday 20 October 2010
Name that tune
When any ad is posted on YouTube, one of the most popular comments seems to be 'What music are they playing?' In the new Heinz ad, they are whistling Elvis's 'Love me tender' as they blow on hot soup. Good choice. And now it'll be stuck in my head all day!
Tuesday 19 October 2010
Quick ticket? Oh no it isn't!
It's the third time I've used this facility recently. Each time, I've pre-bought my ticket online, arrived punctually at East Croydon station, then had to choose a queue from the eight tentacles of twitchy commuters encircling the machines in the centre of the concourse and hesitantly navigating their way around the touch screen maze. It's a badly designed layout and non-intuitive interface. Just what you don't need when people are in a hurry to catch their train!
Friday 15 October 2010
Standing out from the rest
You just can't escape the marketing of a solicitor near me in Bromley. Their blue-and-yellow branding seems to be everywhere I look! Even at the gym, there was an ad inside the locker door of a fish swimming in the opposite direction to all the others.
Their approach is definitely different from traditional solicitors' advertising. And I bet being this brave wins them business.
Their approach is definitely different from traditional solicitors' advertising. And I bet being this brave wins them business.
Wednesday 13 October 2010
He, he, I'm a TV star!
Did you know YouTube is now the second most popular search engine?
In keeping with the advice I give clients about video being the newest way to market yourself (especially when you are what you are selling), here's my first mini training video. A series of marketing videos will follow, each linked to guest blog posts and my book.
I'm feeling a bit shy about featuring in my own little movies, but I hope you find them useful.
Notes on using video marketing
1. Many people's preference for taking in information is TV and cinema rather than reading. Despite this benchmark, the level of professionalism in video has dropped to home-made standard (just as print production levels dropped with the advent of desktop publishing).
Notes on being a 'TV star'
1. Ooer, you can see how long my hair has become since my profile photo was taken a couple of years ago! Maybe I'd better arrange some new shots. Or get a haircut.
2. I much prefer directing to starring; I did my best, but I'm certainly not a natural in front of the camera. In fact, the friend who helped me during the shoot told me I'm "no Keira Knightley". My hopes of appearing with Johnny Depp in the next Pirates film have been forever dashed :-(
In keeping with the advice I give clients about video being the newest way to market yourself (especially when you are what you are selling), here's my first mini training video. A series of marketing videos will follow, each linked to guest blog posts and my book.
I'm feeling a bit shy about featuring in my own little movies, but I hope you find them useful.
Notes on using video marketing
1. Many people's preference for taking in information is TV and cinema rather than reading. Despite this benchmark, the level of professionalism in video has dropped to home-made standard (just as print production levels dropped with the advent of desktop publishing).
2. I've found it's surprisingly easy and affordable to shoot, edit and upload videos to YouTube with a Flip video camera.
Notes on being a 'TV star'
1. Ooer, you can see how long my hair has become since my profile photo was taken a couple of years ago! Maybe I'd better arrange some new shots. Or get a haircut.
2. I much prefer directing to starring; I did my best, but I'm certainly not a natural in front of the camera. In fact, the friend who helped me during the shoot told me I'm "no Keira Knightley". My hopes of appearing with Johnny Depp in the next Pirates film have been forever dashed :-(
Friday 8 October 2010
ARGH! Who do I have to sleep with
to get the ex-resident of my house off the Boots Advantage Card mailing list?
For 10 years they have been sending unsolicited mail to her at my address, and for 10 years I have been helpfully crossing out her details, writing 'Gone away, return to sender' on the envelope, and putting it back in the postbox.
For 10 years they have ignored me, and keep sending more junk.
This morning, I phoned their 0845 number to get her details updated once and for all, but got caught in a computerised voice loop hell.
It's a waste of their paper and postage and a waste of my time.
GRRR.
Boots' marketeers 'get the boot' from me today.
For 10 years they have been sending unsolicited mail to her at my address, and for 10 years I have been helpfully crossing out her details, writing 'Gone away, return to sender' on the envelope, and putting it back in the postbox.
For 10 years they have ignored me, and keep sending more junk.
This morning, I phoned their 0845 number to get her details updated once and for all, but got caught in a computerised voice loop hell.
It's a waste of their paper and postage and a waste of my time.
GRRR.
Boots' marketeers 'get the boot' from me today.
Tuesday 5 October 2010
I feel dirty
That sneaky meerkat tempted me to click his 'filthy muskrat' link on Facebook.
It's not so much the fact that muskrat p*rn exists on the Internet, it's what it's referencing that worries me!
It's not so much the fact that muskrat p*rn exists on the Internet, it's what it's referencing that worries me!
Friday 1 October 2010
My business card story
Despite me wittering on for years about 'people buy people' and 'use your own photo in your marketing if you are what you are selling', my own business cards used to be more corporate than personal.
That's all changed.
At last night's networking event, I passed around a choice of old and new business cards. Everybody, yes, everybody, chose the one with my picture on.
Which would you choose?
That's all changed.
At last night's networking event, I passed around a choice of old and new business cards. Everybody, yes, everybody, chose the one with my picture on.
Which would you choose?
 |
| Old business cards |
 |
| New business cards |
Saturday 25 September 2010
The worst ad I've seen lately
is the Oxy megaphone ad. The mum shouts at the teenager about his spots. He then shouts at the viewer. Why oh why? Give 'em all an ASBO, that's what I say.
Friday 24 September 2010
3 top trends in advertising
1. We like to see and hear real people in ads, not just actors.
2. We believe what other customers say more than we believe what suppliers say.
3. And social media is increasingly being used to market products and services, as opposed to traditional media.
I have written about these trends before.
I heard another fine example on the radio yesterday. It's an ad for Eurostar, called 'Postcards from Europe', with a selection of podcasts/phone-ins from Brits joyfully describing what they can see in the exciting destinations they have travelled to.
I heartily approve.
It's much more convincing than Eurostar paying a voiceover artist to read a polished script in a recording studio, that's for sure.
2. We believe what other customers say more than we believe what suppliers say.
3. And social media is increasingly being used to market products and services, as opposed to traditional media.
I have written about these trends before.
I heard another fine example on the radio yesterday. It's an ad for Eurostar, called 'Postcards from Europe', with a selection of podcasts/phone-ins from Brits joyfully describing what they can see in the exciting destinations they have travelled to.
I heartily approve.
It's much more convincing than Eurostar paying a voiceover artist to read a polished script in a recording studio, that's for sure.
Wednesday 22 September 2010
Common sense is an uncommon commodity
Maybe I'm a bit behind the times, but I saw my first Oyster card* this week (that shows you how rarely I travel on public transport!).
The one I saw didn't look anything like the one in the picture below (it was white). What's more, it didn't look anything like the Oyster card reader.
How is a person supposed to know that they should wave the blue (or white) card over the yellow circle with the swirl?
It's supposed to be quick and easy to use, but it seems to me that a bit of consistency and basic information design - making the things match each other for a start - would make it quicker and easier for everyone.
* Oyster card is a prepaid 'quick ticket' for regular users of public transport in London.
Tuesday 21 September 2010
Phew, I'm not weird!
I saw a bus-shelter poster yesterday, advertising Trebor soft chewy mints.
It showed a pie chart with the largest segment marked 'people who love soft chewy mints' and a tiny slice marked 'weird people'.
The concept reminded me of this fabulous blog post about free logo design by the guy who famously tried to pay a bill with a spider drawing. < These links are very funny but do contain rude words. You have been warned!
It showed a pie chart with the largest segment marked 'people who love soft chewy mints' and a tiny slice marked 'weird people'.
The concept reminded me of this fabulous blog post about free logo design by the guy who famously tried to pay a bill with a spider drawing. < These links are very funny but do contain rude words. You have been warned!
Thursday 16 September 2010
Is advertising sexist?
Thanks to Babs Saul, who posted this link on Facebook.
Today's tip: People go to the Internet for information or entertainment. So that's what you need to provide them with. They don't go to be 'sold' to. That happens as a by-product of valuing your information or enjoying your entertainment.
This blog provides a bit of both. Just lately, I've been feeling a bit silly, and today's video is another bit of light relief. If you want some tips about what you can learn from UK advertising (as promised in the sub-heading, in the light grey bar above), scroll down. You'll find lots of useful advice in previous posts, I promise! I hope you enjoy reading them and / or find them useful.
Wednesday 15 September 2010
Tuesday 14 September 2010
Size matters!
A new copy of the Yellow Pages has just dropped through my letterbox, and it's smaller than it used to be. It's now smaller than all the others, so of course, I put it on top of the pile.
Shame I'll never use it, as I use Google these days. How about you?
Top tip: Before you take an ad with Yellow Pages (or any other directory) phone the people in your sector who already advertise with them, to see if it works or not. Then you can make an informed decision.
Shame I'll never use it, as I use Google these days. How about you?
Top tip: Before you take an ad with Yellow Pages (or any other directory) phone the people in your sector who already advertise with them, to see if it works or not. Then you can make an informed decision.
Sunday 12 September 2010
Here, kitty kitty kitty!
Here's what happened when Ikea let 100 cats loose in their Wembley store...
Saturday 11 September 2010
How to be happy
Making your customers feel happy makes them feel better towards your brand.
Coca Cola recently installed a 'happiness machine' in a student common room, with a real person inside handing out bottles of Coke and other fun things. The video has gone viral, making other people happy too (as well as the organisation).
The company say they are rolling out the idea to other destinations. I'd certainly be happy to find a Coke machine behaving like that!
Tuesday 7 September 2010
You Have Been Warned
I was shocked to read the small print on the Wonga.com ad. They offer short-term loans at an astonishing APR of 2689%. That's right, I haven't missed a decimal point. It's an interest rate of two thousand, six hundred and eighty-nine per cent over a year.
Every lender has to quote the APR, by law. It's supposed to be a standard measure for consumers to judge one loan against the next. But it doesn't apply to short-term loans that are supposed to be repaid within a few days.
The company would quote their real interest rate over 1 week to be more like 7% (cheaper than a bank loan).
The point is, if you don't pay it back on time, you're stuffed.
Monday 6 September 2010
Proportional representation
It's not just the policemen that are getting younger.
In one ad break, I counted 22 people in their 20s and 30s, two children, four babies, one cat and one dog. There were only about six people aged 30+ to be seen.
I thought we were supposed to be the ones with all the money to spend!
So can we have some ads targeted at us, please? And I don't mean ads for incontinence pants, menopause cures and Wills.
In one ad break, I counted 22 people in their 20s and 30s, two children, four babies, one cat and one dog. There were only about six people aged 30+ to be seen.
I thought we were supposed to be the ones with all the money to spend!
So can we have some ads targeted at us, please? And I don't mean ads for incontinence pants, menopause cures and Wills.
Sunday 5 September 2010
This blog
used to be written solely for entertainment - mine and yours. I thought people might enjoy reading what I thought about the good, bad and ugly ads on TV and elsewhere. Then, I added more educational content, because I thought my subscribers (mostly owners of small businesses) might find that more useful.
There are still some mini-rants in this blog, especially if you go back to the early years. But for truly expert examples of the craft, visit Adturds and TV's worst adverts.
Warning: you may be gone some time. I've just spent half my Sunday morning reading them and laughing.
There are still some mini-rants in this blog, especially if you go back to the early years. But for truly expert examples of the craft, visit Adturds and TV's worst adverts.
Warning: you may be gone some time. I've just spent half my Sunday morning reading them and laughing.
Friday 3 September 2010
Questions, questions
I was at a breakfast networking meeting this week. You know the type - everyone presents for 60-seconds, trying to attract referrals from the other people in the room by tapping into their networks. This time, there were only a few attendees (well, it is still just about holiday season I suppose). Anyway, there was more than enough time for everyone to give their 1-minute presentations so I suggested we also do a Q&A for each attendee, to find out more about them.
Here are the 5 questions that resulted in the most interesting answers:
- How did you get into doing what you do?
- What is your favourite business success story or disaster story?
- What are you working on at the moment?
- What type of clients are you looking for at the moment?
- What would be your top tip for business owners?
My top tip is to build relationships at these meetings, don't just deliver a sales pitch.
Here are the 5 questions that resulted in the most interesting answers:
- How did you get into doing what you do?
- What is your favourite business success story or disaster story?
- What are you working on at the moment?
- What type of clients are you looking for at the moment?
- What would be your top tip for business owners?
My top tip is to build relationships at these meetings, don't just deliver a sales pitch.
Thursday 2 September 2010
What a disappointment
It's so tedious when I hear yet another rubbish voiceover that I could cry! The script for the Ambi-Pur air freshener TV ad includes the question:
"Isn't it disappointing when you can't smell your air freshener any more?"
Erm no. Not really.
It then offers to:
"Reawaken your nosebuds."
Nosebuds? I guess they invented that word based on 'tastebuds'. For consistency, shouldn't that be 'smellbuds'?
Either way, I think mine are OK as they are, thank you very much. I won't be buying any Ambi-Pur anytime soon. Pass the tissues.
"Isn't it disappointing when you can't smell your air freshener any more?"
Erm no. Not really.
It then offers to:
"Reawaken your nosebuds."
Nosebuds? I guess they invented that word based on 'tastebuds'. For consistency, shouldn't that be 'smellbuds'?
Either way, I think mine are OK as they are, thank you very much. I won't be buying any Ambi-Pur anytime soon. Pass the tissues.
Wednesday 1 September 2010
How to make your sales letters sing
There is a free sales letter template on my website.
It's not new, but it gives what I think is still good advice. There is, however, something it doesn't mention, and that's about the content. The letter should not just be about what you do, and what's in it for the customer, it should also explain why you and why now.
It's not enough to say 'It's a good idea to make a Will' or 'Cheap mortgages now available'. You have to say why they should go to you for their Will or mortgage - you have to provide your USP (Unique Selling Point). Maybe it's 'Our Wills are 40% cheaper than average' or 'We've had 20,000 mortgage applications accepted so far this year'. (I'm not suggesting these are headlines, this information should be in para 2 or 3, where you explain your credibility.)
Even if you manage to convince readers who've read your letter so far, they may still let it languish in a drawer (or the big round filing basket a.k.a. the bin). You have to incentivise people to respond within a timescale. For example 'Reply within 28 days and get 5% off' or 'Book an appointment by the end of this month and you'll be entered into the free draw to win a plastic daffodil.' You don't have to give away money or prizes, it could be a free report or anything that adds value.
I seem to be explaining this a lot to clients at the moment. Now, all I need to do, is point them to this blog post!
It's not new, but it gives what I think is still good advice. There is, however, something it doesn't mention, and that's about the content. The letter should not just be about what you do, and what's in it for the customer, it should also explain why you and why now.
It's not enough to say 'It's a good idea to make a Will' or 'Cheap mortgages now available'. You have to say why they should go to you for their Will or mortgage - you have to provide your USP (Unique Selling Point). Maybe it's 'Our Wills are 40% cheaper than average' or 'We've had 20,000 mortgage applications accepted so far this year'. (I'm not suggesting these are headlines, this information should be in para 2 or 3, where you explain your credibility.)
Even if you manage to convince readers who've read your letter so far, they may still let it languish in a drawer (or the big round filing basket a.k.a. the bin). You have to incentivise people to respond within a timescale. For example 'Reply within 28 days and get 5% off' or 'Book an appointment by the end of this month and you'll be entered into the free draw to win a plastic daffodil.' You don't have to give away money or prizes, it could be a free report or anything that adds value.
I seem to be explaining this a lot to clients at the moment. Now, all I need to do, is point them to this blog post!
Thursday 26 August 2010
Things look better in slo mo!
I love this ad by Carlton Draught.
And here's the 'big ad' from a few years ago. I loved that too.
Shame I don't drink beer, otherwise I'd go out and buy some, right now!
And here's the 'big ad' from a few years ago. I loved that too.
Shame I don't drink beer, otherwise I'd go out and buy some, right now!
Monday 23 August 2010
Friday 20 August 2010
Monday 16 August 2010
Sync or swim?
It is possible to sync your Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn accounts, so when you post a status update in one platform, it is automatically repeated on the others. It's a problem because the audiences are different in each place. It's also a problem when you are connected with the same contacts in more than one place. They get bored. They 'unfollow' you.
Think about how you communicate in 'real life'. You probably hold different conversations in different places. You wouldn't talk about the same thing when you:
- visit your parents
- go down the pub with your mates
- are chatting in a church group
- have a conversation at work
- meet up with old school-friends
I recommend you tailor your message to suit your audience.
P.S. There is always an exception to every rule. Maybe you've just fallen in love and want to shout it from the rooftops. Or launched a new book!
Think about how you communicate in 'real life'. You probably hold different conversations in different places. You wouldn't talk about the same thing when you:
- visit your parents
- go down the pub with your mates
- are chatting in a church group
- have a conversation at work
- meet up with old school-friends
I recommend you tailor your message to suit your audience.
P.S. There is always an exception to every rule. Maybe you've just fallen in love and want to shout it from the rooftops. Or launched a new book!
Friday 13 August 2010
Access v Ownership
I was at a gig the other night (oh yes, I'm still a rock chick at heart!), and noticed the number of people holding up their mobile phones and digital cameras to record their favourite bits of the performance.
It took me back to the days when cameras were banned from gigs. Your bag was searched on entry to the venue to ensure you didn't take in any recording equipment. (Now, it may be searched for bombs, but that's another story.)
With cameras on every mobile phone, I guess that kind of photographic control has become impossible to implement.
We're not like a remote tribe, who believe a photo captures their soul. These days, we don't own the rights to our own images any more. You, your family and your friends can be unwittingly 'tagged' on Facebook, by anyone that's ever photographed you. If you want another example, witness the number of gossip magazines filled with paparazzi pictures of 'celebrity' cellulite or armpit hair. Not sure why anyone really wants to look at that, but hey, the publications seem to sell OK!
That's images. As for music and voice recordings, tapes and disks have evolved to CD and now MP3 format. With the advent of resources such as Spotify, you no longer need to pay to listen to what you want. Just sign up, and you can search or be presented with the music of your choice.
When it comes to software, instead of everyone across the world buying the latest version and having to upgrade all the time, with cloud computing there is one version stored centrally that you pay for the right to access via the Internet.
I predict that we won't even have to own a TV set in future. Instead, we'll watch whatever we want, thanks to a monitor wirelessly linked to our computer, and pay as we go.
I think it's a good thing. Do you think the same?
It took me back to the days when cameras were banned from gigs. Your bag was searched on entry to the venue to ensure you didn't take in any recording equipment. (Now, it may be searched for bombs, but that's another story.)
With cameras on every mobile phone, I guess that kind of photographic control has become impossible to implement.
We're not like a remote tribe, who believe a photo captures their soul. These days, we don't own the rights to our own images any more. You, your family and your friends can be unwittingly 'tagged' on Facebook, by anyone that's ever photographed you. If you want another example, witness the number of gossip magazines filled with paparazzi pictures of 'celebrity' cellulite or armpit hair. Not sure why anyone really wants to look at that, but hey, the publications seem to sell OK!
That's images. As for music and voice recordings, tapes and disks have evolved to CD and now MP3 format. With the advent of resources such as Spotify, you no longer need to pay to listen to what you want. Just sign up, and you can search or be presented with the music of your choice.
When it comes to software, instead of everyone across the world buying the latest version and having to upgrade all the time, with cloud computing there is one version stored centrally that you pay for the right to access via the Internet.
I predict that we won't even have to own a TV set in future. Instead, we'll watch whatever we want, thanks to a monitor wirelessly linked to our computer, and pay as we go.
I think it's a good thing. Do you think the same?
Thursday 12 August 2010
Please keep in touch!
I had a meeting with a prospective new client the other day, a chartered valuation surveyor who wants to work with solicitors.
The surveyor told me she had asked one solicitor: "Who do you give your business to?"
The solicitor replied, honestly: "The last person I spoke to."
The surveyor made sure she kept in touch with that solicitor, and sure enough, the solicitor started passing work her way.
So send:
• newsletters
• follow-up emails
• renewal reminders
• customer service surveys
• birthday offers
• Christmas cards
• whatever is relevant to your business and your prospects' needs
Have you any other ideas? If yes, please add them in the comments below.
P.S. This 'recency' phenomenon is also covered in my article on Ezine Articles about weekly networking. Linky-link.
The surveyor told me she had asked one solicitor: "Who do you give your business to?"
The solicitor replied, honestly: "The last person I spoke to."
The surveyor made sure she kept in touch with that solicitor, and sure enough, the solicitor started passing work her way.
So send:
• newsletters
• follow-up emails
• renewal reminders
• customer service surveys
• birthday offers
• Christmas cards
• whatever is relevant to your business and your prospects' needs
Have you any other ideas? If yes, please add them in the comments below.
P.S. This 'recency' phenomenon is also covered in my article on Ezine Articles about weekly networking. Linky-link.
Wednesday 11 August 2010
Are you a spot or a stripe?
As a scuba diver, I love this ad!
I find it slightly odd that a chocolate company is encouraging people to get sporty in the run-up to the 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games, but why not?
Tuesday 10 August 2010
Be in an ad
The trend for 'bottom-up' advertising continues (that is, where customers are involved almost as much as advertisers).
There was the T Mobile's 'great night in'.
Until recently, you could pose as Mr Latte.
And now, you can 'ungrow up' as the Milky Bar Kid (all you need is a webcam and microphone).
Maybe they are running out of 'real' people, with reality 'stars' from one reality show appearing in another (e.g. Ben from The Apprentice and Andrew Stone from Pineapple Dance Studios are both featured in Dating in the Dark).
Have you had your 15 minutes of fame yet?
There was the T Mobile's 'great night in'.
Until recently, you could pose as Mr Latte.
And now, you can 'ungrow up' as the Milky Bar Kid (all you need is a webcam and microphone).
Maybe they are running out of 'real' people, with reality 'stars' from one reality show appearing in another (e.g. Ben from The Apprentice and Andrew Stone from Pineapple Dance Studios are both featured in Dating in the Dark).
Have you had your 15 minutes of fame yet?
Monday 9 August 2010
Save it 4 the bedroom
I drove past a sign yesterday, 'Passion 4 Properties'.
I regularly walk past a bakery window that reads: 'Passionate about bread and sandwiches'. (I mean, really?)
I just Googled: "We have a passion for" and it offered me:
- swimming
- pets
- making people more productive
- food science
- all things food
- accessible website design
- living, working and enjoying the mountains
- passing EFT on
Who cares???
Lazy copy like this fails the 'so what' test.
It fails the 'what's in it for me' test.
It's not a benefit (or even a feature).
It's not written from the customer's point of view.
There's only one place that passion should be reserved for. The bedroom. (Oh, OK, or the rug in front of the fire, the kitchen table, or the great outdoors...)
I regularly walk past a bakery window that reads: 'Passionate about bread and sandwiches'. (I mean, really?)
I just Googled: "We have a passion for" and it offered me:
- swimming
- pets
- making people more productive
- food science
- all things food
- accessible website design
- living, working and enjoying the mountains
- passing EFT on
Who cares???
Lazy copy like this fails the 'so what' test.
It fails the 'what's in it for me' test.
It's not a benefit (or even a feature).
It's not written from the customer's point of view.
There's only one place that passion should be reserved for. The bedroom. (Oh, OK, or the rug in front of the fire, the kitchen table, or the great outdoors...)
Friday 30 July 2010
Rant of the day: "You, the client"
I'm sick of seeing copy that's in the plural. It may be written from the one to the many, but it's read by them one at a time. Here are some examples (I didn't have to look too hard to find them):
"We instil in all our people the desire to understand our clients"
"We put our clients first"
"This gives the client peace of mind"
I'm on my knees, begging you, PLEASE don't address me as 'clients', address me as 'you'.
"We instil in all our people the desire to understand our clients"
"We put our clients first"
"This gives the client peace of mind"
I'm on my knees, begging you, PLEASE don't address me as 'clients', address me as 'you'.
Wednesday 28 July 2010
A blog about a blog
I've been writing this blog for a few years (the archive shows exactly how long). I'd say it's on its third iteration by now.
It started as my comments on the good, the bad and the ugly in UK advertising. Then I thought, oh no, I'm not taking my own advice and filling it with enough added value! So I changed it to what business-owners can learn from UK advertising, and each post included a hint, tip or message of some kind. Time moved on, and I realised I'd probably shared just about all the advice I can, and that perhaps the blog was missing a bit of personality to fit in with current trends. So more recent posts have included stories about ads and how they impact my real life.
For the future, I'm tempted to stray from its advertising focus into a wider arena. I will continue to write hints and tips about marketing, networking and social media on Ezine Articles. I hope that's OK with you?
Please let me know either way!
They do say that for every comment received on a blog you can assume 100 readers.
Analytics tells me there have been thousands of visitors over the past years. More on the days when I tweet about a blog post. Most go to the home page (that's usually the link I send them to from Twitter and everywhere else).
My most popular post ever is Chop chop busy busy work work bang bang. It's about Laithwaites, so if people are looking for the Penguin ad, I apologise now for any disappointment!
It started as my comments on the good, the bad and the ugly in UK advertising. Then I thought, oh no, I'm not taking my own advice and filling it with enough added value! So I changed it to what business-owners can learn from UK advertising, and each post included a hint, tip or message of some kind. Time moved on, and I realised I'd probably shared just about all the advice I can, and that perhaps the blog was missing a bit of personality to fit in with current trends. So more recent posts have included stories about ads and how they impact my real life.
For the future, I'm tempted to stray from its advertising focus into a wider arena. I will continue to write hints and tips about marketing, networking and social media on Ezine Articles. I hope that's OK with you?
Please let me know either way!
They do say that for every comment received on a blog you can assume 100 readers.
Analytics tells me there have been thousands of visitors over the past years. More on the days when I tweet about a blog post. Most go to the home page (that's usually the link I send them to from Twitter and everywhere else).
My most popular post ever is Chop chop busy busy work work bang bang. It's about Laithwaites, so if people are looking for the Penguin ad, I apologise now for any disappointment!
Tuesday 27 July 2010
"Milk the dragon"
It isn't what you think.
Not much is, in the weirdly wonderful world of the Cravendale Milk Matters ads.
Must admit, I don't like them much. But then, I don't much like milk either.
What I do like is the surreal juxtaposition of the words.
Not much is, in the weirdly wonderful world of the Cravendale Milk Matters ads.
Must admit, I don't like them much. But then, I don't much like milk either.
What I do like is the surreal juxtaposition of the words.
Monday 26 July 2010
Some things are just too surreal
Walking up my road this week I passed a very tall man and a short woman, holding hands and singing "Moon pig dot com!"
Just goes to show the power of an annoyingly catchy jingle to enter into real life.
It works though. The only card I kept from my birthday earlier this year was a customised one of theirs.
Just goes to show the power of an annoyingly catchy jingle to enter into real life.
It works though. The only card I kept from my birthday earlier this year was a customised one of theirs.
Sunday 25 July 2010
In the shower
I was in the shower and suddenly I started thinking about coffee. Odd! Doubly so because I don't even drink coffee!
Want to know why not? Read this little aside*.
I never drank a lot of coffee. I used to have a cup a day, until one of my friends was training to be a homoeopath and needed subjects to practice on. It turns out that coffee antidotes the remedy (as does mint, you'd think it would be easy to avoid but you'd be surprised how often you are offered it when you're not supposed to have any). So, I didn't drink any coffee for three months, and when I went back to it, I found it made my heart race and I couldn't sleep. Now I only have it when I actually want to keep awake, such as when driving on a long motorway journey. It's a shame, because I actually do like the taste of it. But hey ho.
So, getting back to the shower. I got to wondering, what had created the link in my mind?
I walk past Costa Coffee in the High Street almost every day and there is an A-board outside with a curve of colour swatches (bear with me) showing that they sell both hot and cold drinks. Aha! The show cubicle has a similar display where you turn the arrow to choose the water temperature you want. And when I walk past Costa I think about my shower.
Just goes to show the power of visual connections in your mind. What NLP calls 'anchors'. Like the reaction you get when you see a speed camera or a spider. And how these anchors can be used within the power of advertising.
* Another little aside. I don't drink tea either, but that's another story.
Want to know why not? Read this little aside*.
I never drank a lot of coffee. I used to have a cup a day, until one of my friends was training to be a homoeopath and needed subjects to practice on. It turns out that coffee antidotes the remedy (as does mint, you'd think it would be easy to avoid but you'd be surprised how often you are offered it when you're not supposed to have any). So, I didn't drink any coffee for three months, and when I went back to it, I found it made my heart race and I couldn't sleep. Now I only have it when I actually want to keep awake, such as when driving on a long motorway journey. It's a shame, because I actually do like the taste of it. But hey ho.
So, getting back to the shower. I got to wondering, what had created the link in my mind?
I walk past Costa Coffee in the High Street almost every day and there is an A-board outside with a curve of colour swatches (bear with me) showing that they sell both hot and cold drinks. Aha! The show cubicle has a similar display where you turn the arrow to choose the water temperature you want. And when I walk past Costa I think about my shower.
Just goes to show the power of visual connections in your mind. What NLP calls 'anchors'. Like the reaction you get when you see a speed camera or a spider. And how these anchors can be used within the power of advertising.
* Another little aside. I don't drink tea either, but that's another story.
Monday 19 July 2010
What a waste
A white C4 envelope was delivered (that's the size that holds an A4 piece of paper, the type that needs a 'large' stamp under the new* Post Office pricing structure).
Inside was a zero balance invoice from a telecoms company.
Someone had to pay for this pointless print and postage!
I'm just glad it wasn't me.
* OK, I know it's not so new, but I still think of it that way.
Inside was a zero balance invoice from a telecoms company.
Someone had to pay for this pointless print and postage!
I'm just glad it wasn't me.
* OK, I know it's not so new, but I still think of it that way.
Saturday 17 July 2010
Fund-raising
I received a letter from a local charity today. I can tell it's not professionally written or designed (saving money, no bad thing). It includes raffle tickets to win up to £2,000.
But who could take money from a charity?
If you win, you'd just have to donate it back to them wouldn't you? Otherwise you'd never be able to live with your conscience.
* Word of the day = assuage
But who could take money from a charity?
If you win, you'd just have to donate it back to them wouldn't you? Otherwise you'd never be able to live with your conscience.
* Word of the day = assuage
Wednesday 14 July 2010
Aaah, nostalgia!
"I can't live...if living is without you..."
I was in the kitchen when I heard Harry Neilsen's original song on the TV (muuuch better than the Mariah Carey version. As was said in the film Amadeus, 'too many notes my dear Mozart'.)
I came running in to the sitting room, to see what it was all about.
Joy of joys!
Sodastream is back!
At last I can get busy with the fizzy again.
Read all about it and view the ad on the Guardian website.
I was in the kitchen when I heard Harry Neilsen's original song on the TV (muuuch better than the Mariah Carey version. As was said in the film Amadeus, 'too many notes my dear Mozart'.)
I came running in to the sitting room, to see what it was all about.
Joy of joys!
Sodastream is back!
At last I can get busy with the fizzy again.
Read all about it and view the ad on the Guardian website.
Thursday 1 July 2010
Mmm
What a great piece of work! I have nothing to add. No lessons to draw out. Just wanted to keep this ad on my blog for future reference...
Tuesday 29 June 2010
Three thoughts on lasers
1. It was 1979. I was studying periodical journalism at the London College of Fashion in Oxford Street (now part of the University of the Arts), and there was much excitement each year at the switching on of the Christmas lights. This year was the first time lasers were to be used. I had previously been overawed by the twinkling of gold and silver Santas, of brightly coloured baubles, of sparkling stars, reindeers and presents. I was distinctly underwhelmed to see straight red lines whizzing down the road, not knowing the miracle was that the light didn't splay out as usual.
2. I played Quasar recently. Shooting my dancing friends with those straight red laser lines was sooooo much fun!
3. My dentist said he'd never use whitening gel on his own teeth, and that his optician wore glasses rather than risk laser treatment on his own eyes.
So why am I telling you this?
A prospective client rang me. He manages to attract enquiries via his website, but doesn't manage to convert them into paying customers. My colleague rang him back. The telephonist didn't know where he was, didn't know when he'd be back and couldn't take a message.
The moral of the story: You will never make all of the people like what you do, all of the time. But when you do manage to attract attention through successful marketing, make sure you have all the pieces and people in place to deal with the response.
2. I played Quasar recently. Shooting my dancing friends with those straight red laser lines was sooooo much fun!
3. My dentist said he'd never use whitening gel on his own teeth, and that his optician wore glasses rather than risk laser treatment on his own eyes.
So why am I telling you this?
A prospective client rang me. He manages to attract enquiries via his website, but doesn't manage to convert them into paying customers. My colleague rang him back. The telephonist didn't know where he was, didn't know when he'd be back and couldn't take a message.
The moral of the story: You will never make all of the people like what you do, all of the time. But when you do manage to attract attention through successful marketing, make sure you have all the pieces and people in place to deal with the response.
Friday 25 June 2010
Suckered by an advert
I like to think I'm not taken in by ad-speak, although of course I am, just like everyone else.
When I applied to Watford College* to do their Advertising Copywriting course years ago, I had to write about the last product I'd bought as the result of an ad. 'Oh no,' I claimed, 'Not me, I don't get influenced by advertising!'
But today, I bought a product, just because I'd seen it on TV. You've probably seen the ad, the one with the female security guard distracted by a luxury ice-cream stuffed with lumps of milk and white chocolate?
That Magnum Temptation cost me £1.80. £1.80! And I don't even like chocolate ice-cream! (Chocolate in anything other than its original form is an aberration.)
I won't be doing that again.
* I was accepted even though they thought I might be too diffident (moi?). I took a periodical journalism course instead.
When I applied to Watford College* to do their Advertising Copywriting course years ago, I had to write about the last product I'd bought as the result of an ad. 'Oh no,' I claimed, 'Not me, I don't get influenced by advertising!'
But today, I bought a product, just because I'd seen it on TV. You've probably seen the ad, the one with the female security guard distracted by a luxury ice-cream stuffed with lumps of milk and white chocolate?
That Magnum Temptation cost me £1.80. £1.80! And I don't even like chocolate ice-cream! (Chocolate in anything other than its original form is an aberration.)
I won't be doing that again.
* I was accepted even though they thought I might be too diffident (moi?). I took a periodical journalism course instead.
Tuesday 22 June 2010
Grumpy old woman
Maybe I got out of bed on the wrong side this morning, but I am in the mood for a bit of a rant.
I have lived at the same address for over nine years. For over nine years I have been receiving 'junk' mail from Boots addressed to the previous resident. For over nine years I have been deleting the address and marking the envelope 'Return to Sender / Please take this name off your mailing list / Goneaway 2001'.
Another one arrived recently.
Argh!
Dear Boots, PLEASE tell me what I have to do to stop these mailings!
P.S. I'm also annoyed that new CDs are wrapped so tightly in cellophane (or whatever type of plastic it is) that you can't get them out without using a knife/scissors, cutting your fingers and scratching the CD case. Grrr.
* Goes to lie down, put on some calming music and eat chocolate
I have lived at the same address for over nine years. For over nine years I have been receiving 'junk' mail from Boots addressed to the previous resident. For over nine years I have been deleting the address and marking the envelope 'Return to Sender / Please take this name off your mailing list / Goneaway 2001'.
Another one arrived recently.
Argh!
Dear Boots, PLEASE tell me what I have to do to stop these mailings!
P.S. I'm also annoyed that new CDs are wrapped so tightly in cellophane (or whatever type of plastic it is) that you can't get them out without using a knife/scissors, cutting your fingers and scratching the CD case. Grrr.
* Goes to lie down, put on some calming music and eat chocolate
Wednesday 16 June 2010
Passing the 'so what' test
I saw an ad for DFS in a magazine in the hairdressers. Which magazine, you ask? It may have been Tatler. It may have been Hello! Sorry, I can't remember.
Either way, it passed the 'so what test', which impressed me so much I wrote it down for this blog.
Most business-owners should know by now about writing benefits not features in their marketing. You do that by asking and answering 'so what?' at the end of every sentence. The DFS sofa ad does this overtly and admirably:
It's called Fabienne
(or just Fab for short)
It's designed for comfort
(and good-looking too)
It's made with 100% real leather all over, no imitation anywhere
(and take your pick from over 50 colours at no extra cost)
It's exclusive to DFS
(so you won't find it anywhere else)
Plus, to make it even easier on the pocket you can choose 4 years free credit
(with no payments for the first year)
And to top it all, it's now half price
(saving you a whopping £803)
It also passes the 'we we' test. That is, the number of times the word 'you' is used more often than 'we', 'I' or 'us'.
Does your advertising copy pass both tests too?
Either way, it passed the 'so what test', which impressed me so much I wrote it down for this blog.
Most business-owners should know by now about writing benefits not features in their marketing. You do that by asking and answering 'so what?' at the end of every sentence. The DFS sofa ad does this overtly and admirably:
It's called Fabienne
(or just Fab for short)
It's designed for comfort
(and good-looking too)
It's made with 100% real leather all over, no imitation anywhere
(and take your pick from over 50 colours at no extra cost)
It's exclusive to DFS
(so you won't find it anywhere else)
Plus, to make it even easier on the pocket you can choose 4 years free credit
(with no payments for the first year)
And to top it all, it's now half price
(saving you a whopping £803)
It also passes the 'we we' test. That is, the number of times the word 'you' is used more often than 'we', 'I' or 'us'.
Does your advertising copy pass both tests too?
Monday 14 June 2010
Not impressed
I've just received a letter from a well-known High Street store, telling me they will close my storecard because I haven't used it for a while. In order to keep the card active, I must go in and buy something before 13 July.
Cheeky monkeys!
Has it not occurred to them that the reason I haven't bought anything lately is because they aren't currently selling anything I want to buy?
I accept that closing inactive accounts may help reduce fraud, but wish they'd offered an alternative way to keep the account open. Phone this number, for example. I still wouldn't like it, but if I had the chance to talk to them, I might feel more kindly towards them and go into their shop after all.
Grr.
Cheeky monkeys!
Has it not occurred to them that the reason I haven't bought anything lately is because they aren't currently selling anything I want to buy?
I accept that closing inactive accounts may help reduce fraud, but wish they'd offered an alternative way to keep the account open. Phone this number, for example. I still wouldn't like it, but if I had the chance to talk to them, I might feel more kindly towards them and go into their shop after all.
Grr.
A world apart
Must admit I'm biased (I have an OU degree), but I do rather like this ad with its inspiring images of a blue whale, giant corpuscles, jet engine etc.
The OU is where I learned how to measure the distance to the moon using a broom handle, a disk and some Bluetak. To look at a holly leaf and know if it had a holly leaf miner within (and what had happened to it). I even learned about quarks, strangeness and charm.
Wednesday 9 June 2010
User-generated content
T-Mobile is the latest company to get its customers to make their own ads. I love this one! It reminds me of the old joke about the balloon boy getting told off when he took a pin into his inflatable school: "You've let the school down, you've let your parents down but most of all, you've let yourself down!"
Friday 4 June 2010
Door-to-door salespeople - yuk!
In principle, I don't like to buy anything spontaneously, just because someone selling something has knocked on my door at a time when I'm in.
I prefer to know what I want, then shop around to find the best supplier, then buy it in my own time.
I don't buy tea-towels on my doorstep. I don't buy fish. I don't even give to charities other than the ones I already support.
A couple of weeks ago, a double-glazing salesman knocked on the door. Unusually, I did actually want a quote to repair some double-glazing. OK, I said, I will let your chap come round and quote. We agreed a time of 4.30 pm that afternoon. The guy didn't turn up.
Two weeks later, the double-glazed porch door fell off its hinges.
Coincidence?
I wonder.
I can tell you that the double-glazer who fixes the door will be any firm but the one who didn't turn up when they said they would.
I prefer to know what I want, then shop around to find the best supplier, then buy it in my own time.
I don't buy tea-towels on my doorstep. I don't buy fish. I don't even give to charities other than the ones I already support.
A couple of weeks ago, a double-glazing salesman knocked on the door. Unusually, I did actually want a quote to repair some double-glazing. OK, I said, I will let your chap come round and quote. We agreed a time of 4.30 pm that afternoon. The guy didn't turn up.
Two weeks later, the double-glazed porch door fell off its hinges.
Coincidence?
I wonder.
I can tell you that the double-glazer who fixes the door will be any firm but the one who didn't turn up when they said they would.
Thursday 27 May 2010
"I'm loving it?"
I was sitting under the statue of Eros in Piccadilly Circus yesterday, playing a character in a treasure hunt (not my usual occupation!).
While I waited for the teams to arrive, I was people-watching and watching the ads.
At first, the McDonald's ad confused me. I glanced once and there was a boxing glove on a spring. Looked again, and there was a bulldog with its front leg stretched out. Then an umbrella. Next, a game of stone, scissors, paper.
Eventually, I got the point.
There is a spot on the pavement where you can stand to have your photo taken with the ad in the background, so it looks as though you have a giant pigeon or bowler hat on your head, you are blowing out birthday candles, rejoicing in your team's score or thinking about French fries.
I'm not sure exactly where that spot is - perhaps it should have a golden arches logo painted on it?
I decided it's a clever attempt at being interactive. However, perhaps it's trying to be a bit too clever. Anything that needs that much explanation risks alienating people who don't have as much time to work it out as I did.
While I waited for the teams to arrive, I was people-watching and watching the ads.
At first, the McDonald's ad confused me. I glanced once and there was a boxing glove on a spring. Looked again, and there was a bulldog with its front leg stretched out. Then an umbrella. Next, a game of stone, scissors, paper.
Eventually, I got the point.
There is a spot on the pavement where you can stand to have your photo taken with the ad in the background, so it looks as though you have a giant pigeon or bowler hat on your head, you are blowing out birthday candles, rejoicing in your team's score or thinking about French fries.
I'm not sure exactly where that spot is - perhaps it should have a golden arches logo painted on it?
I decided it's a clever attempt at being interactive. However, perhaps it's trying to be a bit too clever. Anything that needs that much explanation risks alienating people who don't have as much time to work it out as I did.
Tuesday 18 May 2010
What's in a name?
Can you match the name to the business?
1 Cucumber
2 Splat
3 No more frogs
A Dating agency
B Air conditioning supplier
C Painting and decorating
Answers: 1B, 2C, 3A
Easy, isn't it.
Is it as easy for people to guess what you do, from your business name?
1 Cucumber
2 Splat
3 No more frogs
A Dating agency
B Air conditioning supplier
C Painting and decorating
Answers: 1B, 2C, 3A
Easy, isn't it.
Is it as easy for people to guess what you do, from your business name?
Friday 14 May 2010
It's got my name on it!
I couldn't help this ad grabbing my attention. It starts, "Hey, Jackie" and ends, "Jackie, door!"
In between, the script is even more surprising. Apparently, peas are 'unpredictable, you don't know if you're getting a vegetable or a cannon ball'. Must admit, I've never had that confusion myself. And these peas are allegedly 'so tender and sweet they bring a tear to your eye'. Can't say I've ever had that experience either.
But hey, it's got my name on it! And, judging by the comments on YouTube, people seem to love the polar bear. I predict great success for this ad (and associated merchandising), just mark my words...
Tuesday 11 May 2010
Context is everything
I first saw the Cadbury's Chocolate Charmer ad in the middle of a Heston Blumenthal programme. Perfect product placement, mixing the art and science of cooking.
However, when you read the comments about the ad on YouTube, it doesn't seem as though it's gone down so well.
I suppose, like many things, its effectiveness depends where you put it! And there's only one place for Cadbury's chocolate...
Sunday 9 May 2010
That reminds me...
It's a coffee ad (I rarely drink coffee). What it reminds me of is this tea ad (I never drink tea, yuk!).
Friday 7 May 2010
Isn't it amazing
what they can do these days!
This JLP ad tracks through the ages to show their 'lifelong commitment'. The 'continuous' shot reminds me of the Hovis ad-of-the-decade.
This JLP ad tracks through the ages to show their 'lifelong commitment'. The 'continuous' shot reminds me of the Hovis ad-of-the-decade.
Wednesday 5 May 2010
Oh, oh, oh dear, O2
So it's time for my mobile phone contract to be renewed. I go to the website, log in, and navigate my way to the Contact page.
'Dial 8002 free from your handset' it says, 'or dial 0800 977 7337 from a landline, free'.
I do that, and the recorded message says, 'Please redial 0870 600 3009'.
I dial again, and the recorded message says, 'This number is changing soon, to 0844 847 0202'.
I hold on and go through a sequence of 'Press 1 for this and 2 for that'. Eventually, I speak to a person in the business department. 'I'll transfer you to renewals,' he tells me, 'It won't take long'.
By this time, I've already been on the line for 6 minutes. 4 minutes later, 'Alan' answers my enquiry. It takes him 7 minutes to tell me the contract I'm on has been revoked, and I need a new contract which gives me more minutes and more texts for less money.
And they call themselves a telecommunications company...
'Dial 8002 free from your handset' it says, 'or dial 0800 977 7337 from a landline, free'.
I do that, and the recorded message says, 'Please redial 0870 600 3009'.
I dial again, and the recorded message says, 'This number is changing soon, to 0844 847 0202'.
I hold on and go through a sequence of 'Press 1 for this and 2 for that'. Eventually, I speak to a person in the business department. 'I'll transfer you to renewals,' he tells me, 'It won't take long'.
By this time, I've already been on the line for 6 minutes. 4 minutes later, 'Alan' answers my enquiry. It takes him 7 minutes to tell me the contract I'm on has been revoked, and I need a new contract which gives me more minutes and more texts for less money.
And they call themselves a telecommunications company...
Tuesday 4 May 2010
Monday 3 May 2010
Road signs
Driving up to Norfolk at the weekend I passed a row of cones. That's not unusual. But there was a sign I've never seen before:
"Kill your speed. Not our workforce."
It was possibly the funniest road sign I've ever seen! As if drivers would deliberately swerve to mow down road-workers! (Now there's a thought – how many 'Death Race 2000' points would you get for that, I wonder?)
The best road sign I ever saw read:
"Repairing worn out road."
Now that makes sense. It's an excess of road-users that has caused the problem, and fixing it will help road-users in future. OK, dear road-workers, please carry on.
Today's tip: Always think within the mind of your reader.
"Kill your speed. Not our workforce."
It was possibly the funniest road sign I've ever seen! As if drivers would deliberately swerve to mow down road-workers! (Now there's a thought – how many 'Death Race 2000' points would you get for that, I wonder?)
The best road sign I ever saw read:
"Repairing worn out road."
Now that makes sense. It's an excess of road-users that has caused the problem, and fixing it will help road-users in future. OK, dear road-workers, please carry on.
Today's tip: Always think within the mind of your reader.
Sunday 2 May 2010
THAT'S the way to do it!
The Head & Shoulders slogan: 'Making heads happier' is as good as this slogan is bad.
Another good one is the Aldi slogan: 'Great food, great prices, pass it on'. It has the benefit and a call to action. Like on Twitter, saying 'Please Retweet' (or 'Pls RT'), it results in more people actually doing what you say.
Do you agree?
Please comment below!
Another good one is the Aldi slogan: 'Great food, great prices, pass it on'. It has the benefit and a call to action. Like on Twitter, saying 'Please Retweet' (or 'Pls RT'), it results in more people actually doing what you say.
Do you agree?
Please comment below!
Friday 30 April 2010
I have a soft spot
in my heart for department stores.
When I was a student, I worked for four years at Allders of Croydon on Saturdays and during holidays. Then, for 18 years, I worked at Freemans catalogue (a department store in a book), ending up as a senior manager in the creative and marketing departments before setting up my own business.
These days, the 'everything under one roof' concept seems to be fading, to be replaced by smaller niche retail outlets.
With the UK general election less than a week away, it reminded me that the difference between the main parties used to be this:
- Labour believe in centralising everything (state control)
- Conservatives believe in localising everything (individual responsibility)
- LibDems believe in proportional representation (so a party can't get into power with, say, 40% of the vote just because that's more than anyone else, as 60% of the people voted against them)
I'm over-simplifying of course, but then, that's my speciality!
I call it 'writing without waffle' although I do a lot more than that. As a catchphrase, it's a hard-working lead-in I can use to sell other services.
Are you trying to be all things to all people? Or do you sell to a specific niche? And do you have a simple slogan that encaptures your essence?
When I was a student, I worked for four years at Allders of Croydon on Saturdays and during holidays. Then, for 18 years, I worked at Freemans catalogue (a department store in a book), ending up as a senior manager in the creative and marketing departments before setting up my own business.
These days, the 'everything under one roof' concept seems to be fading, to be replaced by smaller niche retail outlets.
With the UK general election less than a week away, it reminded me that the difference between the main parties used to be this:
- Labour believe in centralising everything (state control)
- Conservatives believe in localising everything (individual responsibility)
- LibDems believe in proportional representation (so a party can't get into power with, say, 40% of the vote just because that's more than anyone else, as 60% of the people voted against them)
I'm over-simplifying of course, but then, that's my speciality!
I call it 'writing without waffle' although I do a lot more than that. As a catchphrase, it's a hard-working lead-in I can use to sell other services.
Are you trying to be all things to all people? Or do you sell to a specific niche? And do you have a simple slogan that encaptures your essence?
Saturday 24 April 2010
Thursday 22 April 2010
Confused of Croydon
Since when has 'Fruity drinks and lunchtime dreams' made any kind of sense at all?
Tuesday 20 April 2010
But but butt
There's this:
And there's this:
And then there's this debate about the objectification of women
For example:
Eneya
6:24 am on November 16, 2009
To, to summarize:
We have a girl in tight short and the camera person can not stop focusing on it, being a total ass and highly unprofessional, rude and disrespectful.
BUT the girls was not… for instance mad, she was flattered. ’cause you know, all girls want to be perceived only as attachment to their legs/ass/boobs.
All women want to be perceived as sex objects period.
Due to the second ad in which is directly stated that 1st women do not want to exercise to feel good in their bodies, but to be noticed by men and 2nt, consequently, be envied by the women who failed to attract that attention to themselves being with different body types than the “normative”.
And last but not least, your boobs are talking!!!! (WTF??)
They are portrayed as jealous (using them to refer other women and their supposed reaction to your fabulous new BUTT and legs which you achieved by wearing pink boots, lying in the bed (????) or posing.
I imagine how the dialog about this was led.
“Hey guys, let us make a commercial towards women. We are selling boots, right? How can we appeal to women better?”
“Why not sell them boots made especially for them… you know, pink. All the girlZ love pink and will buy anything in pink.”
“Excellent idea… but… you know women are lazy. They are not going to do anything to help themselves and they do not care about their bodies, they do not sport just to please themselves. We need to make them to want to do that. How??”
“Well, we can tell them that it will make their butt look better only by wearing the boots. And that all will notice their butt, men will ooze, other women will be jealous and everybody will be happy!”
“What about homosexual women? And women who do not do things only because it will attract males?”
(Dead silence in the room)
“Oook, let’s begin the the ad. And do not forget all the important things the final piece should be.:
1. Mysogynic
2. Objectifying women
3. Portraying them as sex toys
4. PINK!!!!
5. Male gaze
Ok? Let’s do this!!”
Or at least something very similar to that, I am sure.
By from me, I am going to fetch my axe and meet some people.
See you around.
And there's this:
And then there's this debate about the objectification of women
For example:
Eneya
6:24 am on November 16, 2009
To, to summarize:
We have a girl in tight short and the camera person can not stop focusing on it, being a total ass and highly unprofessional, rude and disrespectful.
BUT the girls was not… for instance mad, she was flattered. ’cause you know, all girls want to be perceived only as attachment to their legs/ass/boobs.
All women want to be perceived as sex objects period.
Due to the second ad in which is directly stated that 1st women do not want to exercise to feel good in their bodies, but to be noticed by men and 2nt, consequently, be envied by the women who failed to attract that attention to themselves being with different body types than the “normative”.
And last but not least, your boobs are talking!!!! (WTF??)
They are portrayed as jealous (using them to refer other women and their supposed reaction to your fabulous new BUTT and legs which you achieved by wearing pink boots, lying in the bed (????) or posing.
I imagine how the dialog about this was led.
“Hey guys, let us make a commercial towards women. We are selling boots, right? How can we appeal to women better?”
“Why not sell them boots made especially for them… you know, pink. All the girlZ love pink and will buy anything in pink.”
“Excellent idea… but… you know women are lazy. They are not going to do anything to help themselves and they do not care about their bodies, they do not sport just to please themselves. We need to make them to want to do that. How??”
“Well, we can tell them that it will make their butt look better only by wearing the boots. And that all will notice their butt, men will ooze, other women will be jealous and everybody will be happy!”
“What about homosexual women? And women who do not do things only because it will attract males?”
(Dead silence in the room)
“Oook, let’s begin the the ad. And do not forget all the important things the final piece should be.:
1. Mysogynic
2. Objectifying women
3. Portraying them as sex toys
4. PINK!!!!
5. Male gaze
Ok? Let’s do this!!”
Or at least something very similar to that, I am sure.
By from me, I am going to fetch my axe and meet some people.
See you around.
Friday 16 April 2010
So true!
I still love the Boots 'here come the girls' ads, especially the ones where girls screw up their faces to swallow pills or apply skincare lotions and potions as if the camera were a mirror. It's realistic. And it's funny!
Today's message: Ads that ring true, ring tills*.
* Quotable quote © me
Thursday 15 April 2010
So good!
Today's prize goes to Burger King poster copy. Everything is beautifully written and consistent with their 'have it your way' theme, even the sign on the bin.
Unfortunately, I couldn't find the examples I wanted online, you'll just have to go to a BK store and read them there.
Wednesday 14 April 2010
So sweet!
Watching the Muppet Wizard of Oz on TV over Easter with my little nieces, the youngest burst into peals of laughter when she saw this ad.
She's not exactly the target market to buy the product (although she probably uses plenty), but it was a moment of pure delight and, indeed, charm!
Friday 9 April 2010
Am I missing something?
The KFC Krushems ad has a High School yearbook with names such as Joe King, Will Power and Rudy Mentry.
But what's funny about Virginia Yale, Jane Walker, Monique Cartier, Dorian Black and Bart de Kool?
P.S. The campaign was created by Bartle Bogle Hegarty (BBH), the agency I always think of as Beetle, Bartle, Bogle, Boogle, Boggle. But what's in a name, eh guys?
Monday 29 March 2010
Ooer missus, I do like a bit of euphemism!
Have you seen or heard the ads for Crabbie's alcoholic ginger beer? They are no doubt inspired by Enid Blyton's Famous Five books that always seemed to feature 'lashings' of the stuff, but with an adult twist.
The scripts contain all sorts of delicious innuendo – I heard a radio ad today pretending to be about an Easter egg hunt. For example, she says: "Have a feel around downstairs" and he says: "I'll be up in a Jiffy".
Meanwhile, the TV ad (above) features a Fanny (fnnar fnarr) Craddock type using much missed words like 'spiffing'.
All this lovely wordplay makes me very happy!
Tuesday 23 March 2010
Let's play spot the typo!
Ladies and Gentleman, I have clear evidence that our education system is failing us.
As exhibit A, I present to you the caption on the current Clean & Clear TV ad.
It's about the 'inprovement' the product allegedly makes to your skin. What's more, the voiceover pronounces the word as it's spelled.
It's no surprise that teenagers get spots. And not much of a surprise that they can't spell, especially when advertisers and clients can't even get it right.
I wonder how many people approved the ad before it went live?
Next time it's on, see if you can spot the typo.
As exhibit A, I present to you the caption on the current Clean & Clear TV ad.
It's about the 'inprovement' the product allegedly makes to your skin. What's more, the voiceover pronounces the word as it's spelled.
It's no surprise that teenagers get spots. And not much of a surprise that they can't spell, especially when advertisers and clients can't even get it right.
I wonder how many people approved the ad before it went live?
Next time it's on, see if you can spot the typo.
Thursday 18 March 2010
Tuesday 16 March 2010
What's your point of view?
I was reading the instruction manual for my new car (a delicious red Mazda MX-5, since you ask). I've simplified this example, but it is patently written from the manufacturer's point of view:
"The switch is wired to the thingy. When the switch is in the top position, it does this. When the switch is in the bottom position, it does that. When the switch is flicked to the side, it does the other. When the switch is rotated (see diagram) it does the opposite."
Dear manual writers, PLEASE turn it around so it's from the driver's point of view, e.g.
"If you want cold air, turn the switch to the top. If you want warm air, turn the switch to the bottom."
Dear illustrators of diagrams, PLEASE realise that when you are sitting in the driver's seat, you can't actually see the little drawings on the switches as they are hidden by the steering wheel.
Harumph.
"The switch is wired to the thingy. When the switch is in the top position, it does this. When the switch is in the bottom position, it does that. When the switch is flicked to the side, it does the other. When the switch is rotated (see diagram) it does the opposite."
Dear manual writers, PLEASE turn it around so it's from the driver's point of view, e.g.
"If you want cold air, turn the switch to the top. If you want warm air, turn the switch to the bottom."
Dear illustrators of diagrams, PLEASE realise that when you are sitting in the driver's seat, you can't actually see the little drawings on the switches as they are hidden by the steering wheel.
Harumph.
Thursday 11 March 2010
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