'kin marvellous

I drove past a Burger King poster yesterday, with a picture of a juicy Angus burger and the caption 'King Delicious'.

They like to elevate their branding above Maccy Ds.

If they'd added an apostrophe it would have descended to the unnecessary level that French Connection UK did (remember?). I'm glad they didn't go there.

Lesson: Sometimes, it's good to be subtle.

What makes a good restaurant?

As a waterholic, I judge restaurants by how quickly they bring me tap water when I request it*.

Last night, I had a meal at a South American restaurant in the O2, prior to a brilliant FeedMe Music gig.

I had to order the water three times – three! – before a waiter brought it to the table.

Poor show.

*I also judge them by the quality of the loo!

Words that should be used more often

Mollycoddle

As heard recently in a radio ad for the British Heart Foundation. A woman talks about losing her Dad. Her voice breaks with emotion as she talks about her fears of losing her Mum too.

Sometimes, mollycoddling is no bad thing.

White van man

The driver of a white van unexpectedly slowed to let me cross the road today. It was a Virgin Media van. Well done to them for training their drivers to represent the brand so favourably when they're out on the road.

In case you don't know, the weather in the UK is icy cold at the moment, so his thoughtfulness warmed my heart.

Pull your finger out!

I regularly collect a repeat prescription from Boots the Chemist. It's up the High Street where I walk almost every day on one errand or another. Maybe to pay in a cheque at the bank (unbelievably, some people still pay by cheque!). Maybe to buy a birthday card for one of my many friends and acquaintances (inconsistently, I still like to send 'paper' cards).

My doctor asked why I use the big chain chemist instead of the little local pharmacy at the end of my road.

It's because service in the little pharmacy is rubbish.

Even in Boots, the staff make eye contact, say hello, and apologise if they keep you waiting. In the little chemist, you queue for ages and feel ignored while you wait. While I would love to support the cottage industry over the national corporation, these little things matter.

Small businesses take note. Many things change, but there is really no excuse for inattentive customer service.

A website that breaks all the rules

Lingscars breaks all the rules about good design, but I give it 10/10 for personality.

What do you think?

Mmm, chocolate!

Muller Lite is now available sprinkled with chocolate. Seems odd to me. If you're going to eat chocolate, then eat chocolate. If you're trying to lose weight, eat light yoghurt.

The ad seems odd too.

A bunch of women drive up in their open-top car. The ground is too muddy for them to walk on in stiletto heels. They eat their chocolate-sprinkled yoghurts delivered by a chivalrous hero. He also lays down a boot-load* of 'fad diet books' as stepping stones for them to walk across. He ends up speckled with mud.

That's when I get confused. Is it chocolate in the yoghurt? Or low-calorie mud?

* Trunk-load for our American friends

"It's different, but it's not a hen"

That's what the fox says in the Old Speckled Hen beer ads on the Dave comedy channel.

It's also what my friend Helen said about almost everything we saw when we visited Venice together. She even said it about her chicken dinner, to which I replied: "Well, actually, it *is* a hen."

How we laughed!

An object lesson in how powerfully ad-speak can infiltrate ordinary language.