Sinister goings-on at Sainsbury's

Not only does the Terrible Talking Till know when I'm using bags from another supermarket (it keeps announcing 'Unrecognised item in the bagging area') but it also also knows what products I buy and prints out coupons accordingly. Yesterday, it offered me Marmite-flavoured crisps. It wouldn't dare do that if I were a Bovril girl.

It's like the time I was in the USA and got money out of an ATM (they don't call them 'holes-in-the-wall over there, and think it's rather funny that we do!). The screen read, more or less, "Here's your money, Ms Barrie. We hope you enjoy your time in our fair country. Now don't go spending it all at once. Tutty-bye!"

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised in this social media age, when everyone has access to information about everybody over the Internet.

But I do find it all somewhat disconcerting.

Welcome home!

Makes you laugh, makes you cry...

Marketing is like unselfish sex

Dear Clients,

Please stop asking me to write copy that describes how passionate you are about your business.

Your customers don't care about "your passion". They only care what YOU can do for THEM.

Thanks in advance.

Me x

P.S. While you're at it, please don't ask me to include your mission statement either, as refusal may offend.

Every little helps? I agree.

I heartily approve of the Tesco Mobile 'no big ideas' ad, below. Instead of sponsoring racing cars, sporting events or major teams, they give back to their customers in the form of triple Clubcard points.

On the other hand, Nationwide Building Society sponsors the football. I wish they wouldn't. I'd rather they reduced the cost of borrowing or paid more interest.

Which would you prefer?

No Big Ideas - Just ..
Watch the ad...

G'night, Jim-Bob, g'night, Mary-Ellen

You have to be a certain age to remember the Waltons, with its closing 'g'night' scene. For all those who missed it the first time round, EDF Energy have brought it back to life (i.e. recycled it) with their new Eco Manager ad:



G'night, Gran'ma.

Antici........pation!

As soon as I saw the opening image of this new Cadbury's ad, I knew we were in for a treat! And so it came to pass. If I gave out 'ad of the week' awards, they'd win it.

Name that tune

When any ad is posted on YouTube, one of the most popular comments seems to be 'What music are they playing?' In the new Heinz ad, they are whistling Elvis's 'Love me tender' as they blow on hot soup. Good choice. And now it'll be stuck in my head all day!

Quick ticket? Oh no it isn't!

It's the third time I've used this facility recently. Each time, I've pre-bought my ticket online, arrived punctually at East Croydon station, then had to choose a queue from the eight tentacles of twitchy commuters encircling the machines in the centre of the concourse and hesitantly navigating their way around the touch screen maze. It's a badly designed layout and non-intuitive interface. Just what you don't need when people are in a hurry to catch their train!

Standing out from the rest

You just can't escape the marketing of a solicitor near me in Bromley. Their blue-and-yellow branding seems to be everywhere I look! Even at the gym, there was an ad inside the locker door of a fish swimming in the opposite direction to all the others.

Their approach is definitely different from traditional solicitors' advertising. And I bet being this brave wins them business.

He, he, I'm a TV star!

Did you know YouTube is now the second most popular search engine?

In keeping with the advice I give clients about video being the newest way to market yourself (especially when you are what you are selling), here's my first mini training video. A series of marketing videos will follow, each linked to guest blog posts and my book.

I'm feeling a bit shy about featuring in my own little movies, but I hope you find them useful.



Notes on using video marketing
1. Many people's preference for taking in information is TV and cinema rather than reading. Despite this benchmark, the level of professionalism in video has dropped to home-made standard (just as print production levels dropped with the advent of desktop publishing).

2. I've found it's surprisingly easy and affordable to shoot, edit and upload videos to YouTube with a Flip video camera.

Notes on being a 'TV star'
1. Ooer, you can see how long my hair has become since my profile photo was taken a couple of years ago! Maybe I'd better arrange some new shots. Or get a haircut.
2. I much prefer directing to starring; I did my best, but I'm certainly not a natural in front of the camera. In fact, the friend who helped me during the shoot told me I'm "no Keira Knightley". My hopes of appearing with Johnny Depp in the next Pirates film have been forever dashed :-(

ARGH! Who do I have to sleep with

to get the ex-resident of my house off the Boots Advantage Card mailing list?

For 10 years they have been sending unsolicited mail to her at my address, and for 10 years I have been helpfully crossing out her details, writing 'Gone away, return to sender' on the envelope, and putting it back in the postbox.

For 10 years they have ignored me, and keep sending more junk.

This morning, I phoned their 0845 number to get her details updated once and for all, but got caught in a computerised voice loop hell.

It's a waste of their paper and postage and a waste of my time.

GRRR.

Boots' marketeers 'get the boot' from me today.

I feel dirty

That sneaky meerkat tempted me to click his 'filthy muskrat' link on Facebook.



It's not so much the fact that muskrat p*rn exists on the Internet, it's what it's referencing that worries me!

My business card story

Despite me wittering on for years about 'people buy people' and 'use your own photo in your marketing if you are what you are selling', my own business cards used to be more corporate than personal.

That's all changed.

At last night's networking event, I passed around a choice of old and new business cards. Everybody, yes, everybody, chose the one with my picture on.

Which would you choose?

Old business cards

New business cards