The worst ad I've seen lately

is the Oxy megaphone ad. The mum shouts at the teenager about his spots. He then shouts at the viewer. Why oh why? Give 'em all an ASBO, that's what I say.

3 top trends in advertising

1. We like to see and hear real people in ads, not just actors.
2. We believe what other customers say more than we believe what suppliers say.
3. And social media is increasingly being used to market products and services, as opposed to traditional media.

I have written about these trends before.

I heard another fine example on the radio yesterday. It's an ad for Eurostar, called 'Postcards from Europe', with a selection of podcasts/phone-ins from Brits joyfully describing what they can see in the exciting destinations they have travelled to.

I heartily approve.

It's much more convincing than Eurostar paying a voiceover artist to read a polished script in a recording studio, that's for sure.

Common sense is an uncommon commodity

Maybe I'm a bit behind the times, but I saw my first Oyster card* this week (that shows you how rarely I travel on public transport!).

The one I saw didn't look anything like the one in the picture below (it was white). What's more, it didn't look anything like the Oyster card reader.

How is a person supposed to know that they should wave the blue (or white) card over the yellow circle with the swirl? 

It's supposed to be quick and easy to use, but it seems to me that a bit of consistency and basic information design - making the things match each other for a start - would make it quicker and easier for everyone.

* Oyster card is a prepaid 'quick ticket' for regular users of public transport in London.

Phew, I'm not weird!

I saw a bus-shelter poster yesterday, advertising Trebor soft chewy mints.

It showed a pie chart with the largest segment marked 'people who love soft chewy mints' and a tiny slice marked 'weird people'.

The concept reminded me of this fabulous blog post about free logo design by the guy who famously tried to pay a bill with a spider drawing. < These links are very funny but do contain rude words. You have been warned!

Is advertising sexist?

Thanks to Babs Saul, who posted this link on Facebook.

Today's tip: People go to the Internet for information or entertainment. So that's what you need to provide them with. They don't go to be 'sold' to. That happens as a by-product of valuing your information or enjoying your entertainment.

This blog provides a bit of both. Just lately, I've been feeling a bit silly, and today's video is another bit of light relief. If you want some tips about what you can learn from UK advertising (as promised in the sub-heading, in the light grey bar above), scroll down. You'll find lots of useful advice in previous posts, I promise! I hope you enjoy reading them and / or find them useful.

When automatic ad placement goes wrong

Size matters!

A new copy of the Yellow Pages has just dropped through my letterbox, and it's smaller than it used to be. It's now smaller than all the others, so of course, I put it on top of the pile.

Shame I'll never use it, as I use Google these days. How about you?

Top tip: Before you take an ad with Yellow Pages (or any other directory) phone the people in your sector who already advertise with them, to see if it works or not. Then you can make an informed decision.

Here, kitty kitty kitty!

Here's what happened when Ikea let 100 cats loose in their Wembley store...

How to be happy

Making your customers feel happy makes them feel better towards your brand.

Coca Cola recently installed a 'happiness machine' in a student common room, with a real person inside handing out bottles of Coke and other fun things. The video has gone viral, making other people happy too (as well as the organisation).

The company say they are rolling out the idea to other destinations. I'd certainly be happy to find a Coke machine behaving like that!

You Have Been Warned

I was shocked to read the small print on the Wonga.com ad. They offer short-term loans at an astonishing APR of 2689%. That's right, I haven't missed a decimal point. It's an interest rate of two thousand, six hundred and eighty-nine per cent over a year.

Every lender has to quote the APR, by law. It's supposed to be a standard measure for consumers to judge one loan against the next. But it doesn't apply to short-term loans that are supposed to be repaid within a few days.

The company would quote their real interest rate over 1 week to be more like 7% (cheaper than a bank loan).

The point is, if you don't pay it back on time, you're stuffed.

Proportional representation

It's not just the policemen that are getting younger.

In one ad break, I counted 22 people in their 20s and 30s, two children, four babies, one cat and one dog. There were only about six people aged 30+ to be seen.

I thought we were supposed to be the ones with all the money to spend!

So can we have some ads targeted at us, please? And I don't mean ads for incontinence pants, menopause cures and Wills.

This blog

used to be written solely for entertainment - mine and yours. I thought people might enjoy reading what I thought about the good, bad and ugly ads on TV and elsewhere. Then, I added more educational content, because I thought my subscribers (mostly owners of small businesses) might find that more useful.

There are still some mini-rants in this blog, especially if you go back to the early years. But for truly expert examples of the craft, visit Adturds and TV's worst adverts.

Warning: you may be gone some time. I've just spent half my Sunday morning reading them and laughing.

Questions, questions

I was at a breakfast networking meeting this week. You know the type - everyone presents for 60-seconds, trying to attract referrals from the other people in the room by tapping into their networks. This time, there were only a few attendees (well, it is still just about holiday season I suppose). Anyway, there was more than enough time for everyone to give their 1-minute presentations so I suggested we also do a Q&A for each attendee, to find out more about them.

Here are the 5 questions that resulted in the most interesting answers:

- How did you get into doing what you do?
- What is your favourite business success story or disaster story?
- What are you working on at the moment?
- What type of clients are you looking for at the moment?
- What would be your top tip for business owners?

My top tip is to build relationships at these meetings, don't just deliver a sales pitch.

What a disappointment

It's so tedious when I hear yet another rubbish voiceover that I could cry! The script for the Ambi-Pur air freshener TV ad includes the question:

"Isn't it disappointing when you can't smell your air freshener any more?"

Erm no. Not really.

It then offers to:

"Reawaken your nosebuds."

Nosebuds? I guess they invented that word based on 'tastebuds'. For consistency, shouldn't that be 'smellbuds'?

Either way, I think mine are OK as they are, thank you very much. I won't be buying any Ambi-Pur anytime soon. Pass the tissues.

How to make your sales letters sing

There is a free sales letter template on my website.

It's not new, but it gives what I think is still good advice. There is, however, something it doesn't mention, and that's about the content. The letter should not just be about what you do, and what's in it for the customer, it should also explain why you and why now.

It's not enough to say 'It's a good idea to make a Will' or 'Cheap mortgages now available'. You have to say why they should go to you for their Will or mortgage - you have to provide your USP (Unique Selling Point). Maybe it's 'Our Wills are 40% cheaper than average' or 'We've had 20,000 mortgage applications accepted so far this year'. (I'm not suggesting these are headlines, this information should be in para 2 or 3, where you explain your credibility.)

Even if you manage to convince readers who've read your letter so far, they may still let it languish in a drawer (or the big round filing basket a.k.a. the bin). You have to incentivise people to respond within a timescale. For example 'Reply within 28 days and get 5% off' or 'Book an appointment by the end of this month and you'll be entered into the free draw to win a plastic daffodil.' You don't have to give away money or prizes, it could be a free report or anything that adds value.

I seem to be explaining this a lot to clients at the moment. Now, all I need to do, is point them to this blog post!