Oh, oh, oh dear, O2

So it's time for my mobile phone contract to be renewed. I go to the website, log in, and navigate my way to the Contact page.

'Dial 8002 free from your handset' it says, 'or dial 0800 977 7337 from a landline, free'.

I do that, and the recorded message says, 'Please redial 0870 600 3009'.

I dial again, and the recorded message says, 'This number is changing soon, to 0844 847 0202'.

I hold on and go through a sequence of 'Press 1 for this and 2 for that'. Eventually, I speak to a person in the business department. 'I'll transfer you to renewals,' he tells me, 'It won't take long'.

By this time, I've already been on the line for 6 minutes. 4 minutes later, 'Alan' answers my enquiry. It takes him 7 minutes to tell me the contract I'm on has been revoked, and I need a new contract which gives me more minutes and more texts for less money.

And they call themselves a telecommunications company...